Leaflets, Big and Small

What Do the Leaflets Do in April/May/June?

Whenever I’m bored and have nothing to do, and my belly button is clean, I allow my mind to wander and wonder what on God’s green earth do the billions and billions of Leaf fans do when all the talented and dedicated hockey teams in the NHL are still playing in the second season. I’m almost certain that, given the fact that the Toronto Maple Leafs have now missed the playoffs for seven consecutive seasons, the leaflets have many other options to pursue. For example, there is gardening, bird watching, soul searching and, of course, golfing.
What does the Leaf Nation talk about during these quiet times in their lives? Do they talk about how awesome the Leaf management will do during the draft in June? No, that can’t be considering how absolutely pathetic Toronto is in picking top talent for their talent-short team. Actually it is quite difficult to gauge how bad the Leafs are at picking hockey talent. Their team is so bad; their head coach is not particularly liked by anyone, especially young players, that even if these kids had some major upside they would have to demonstrate it with another team after they prove to be a bust in Toronto.
I wonder, if perhaps, the Leaf Nation actually watches the Stanley Cup playoffs and fantasizes about what ifs and if onlies about their decidedly inept club? The many leaflets I’m acquainted with are split as to who does and doesn’t watch the second season. Those who do invariably whine about how the Leafs are a much better team than the ones they are presently watching. I know, it is sad, indeed. To be honest, however, there are a few, but only a few of my close friends who actually are acutely aware of how bad their team is. They alone make no bones about how far, far away the Leafs from being contenders of any stripe for Lord Stanley’s Cup.
It’s funny that I can pinpoint when all the leaflets began to see their beloved buds as perennial Stanley Cup contenders: it was the years that Doug Gilmour played for Toronto. Up until then, you couldn’t find a Leaf fan that was suitably droll about the Leaf chances. You know, they were actually enjoyable to be around because you could kid them and rag them and they were cool with that. Alas since that time in the early to mid nineties of Gilmour’s reign, Leaf Nation now believes somehow, someway that their Leafs are just that close to being viable contenders. Alas, again, no non-Leaf fan believes a word of it. Why?
Look at the record; look at their incredible incompetence in drafting quality young prospects; look at their horrendous trades, whereby they bring in aging stars who immediately succumb to Leaf disease and forget totally how to play defensive hockey; look at their anemic record of hiring the right coach and general manager to guide their sorry collection of hockey players. Need I go on? The Toronto Maple Leafs have been and continue to today to be a franchise that is long on fan support and exceedingly short on talent. General Manager Brian Burke has done nothing to change that despite his many and vociferous comments to the contrary. Seriously do you really think the Leafs will have what it takes next year to make the playoffs?
Once they begin to improve, if it actually happens, other teams will begin to take them more seriously, thus they will play much harder than they do now against the Leafs. For many years now the Leafs have had to rely on the overconfidence of their opponents to sneak in a few extra wins.
Speaking of wins, Leaf Nation is alone among all sports fans in their misguided belief that a three- or four-game winning streak in November is somehow indicative of the Leafs wonderful chances to win the Cup. It has happened yet; it hasn’t even come close to happening, but, alas, the leaflets fall for this dodge every single season without fail. It’s amazing really that a team this mediocre with virtually very limited future prospects continues to delude itself in an annual fashion to the extent of their wonderfulness. Amazing, indeed.

April 23, 2011

Blog for April 23, 2011

This past weekend I helped a friend do some demolition work on his old sauna at camp. We left Thunder Bay at 5:30 Friday night with his company truck, his new 12-foot trailer, and his son-in-law in tow. We arrived at his Open Bay camp on beautiful Lac des Mille Lacs about two hours later. It was surprisingly cold, very cold for the middle of April. The wind was strong and out of the north. We quickly unloaded the truck and Shane, the son-in-law, began deep-frying chicken wings in the old sauna (it was too cold to cook outside), and Bob and I unloaded the trailer.
By 8 o’clock the wings were ready, the rum was chilling in the large, ice-laden glasses and the hockey game was on the big screen TV. So much for the socializing; we had a big day ahead of us, especially considering the next day was supposed to bring a heavy snowfall.
When I got up shortly after seven, it was snowing steadily with very little wind. By the time Bob and Shane got up and we had finished breakfast, the snow had to be at least two to three inches thick. We immediately cleaned out the sauna, turned off the power and began to gut the interior of the 12x20 structure. I cut all the electrical wires, and Bob and Shane began tearing down the interior walls. The previous owner certainly liked to use a lot of nails. The entire interior comprised 1x6 cedar tongue and groove. The boards were nailed not with one but two small nails in each stud. I’ve never seen two nails before, ever.
Once we had pulled all the nails and ripped out the insulation and vapour barrier, we had to knock down the brick wall that surrounded the woodstove, the huge woodstove. This demolition actually went very quickly and we loaded all the brick and the stones from the sauna stove into Bob’s trailer. Having cleaned all this up, we then tried to figure out a way to move the large woodstove. Its sheer size was compounded by the fact it was buried in the cement floor. However, we were able to dislodge the stove and move it slowly but surely out the door.
Once we had the stove out the door we had to maneuver it onto the trailer; this was more problematic than we had anticipated, but we were able to finally, with the help of Shane’s winch on his side-by-side quad, slide it onto the trailer. That was one heavy stove. We then filled the trailer to a height of about 7 feet with insulation, vapour barrier and the odd piece of wood. Thus began our second trip to the dump to unload all the detritus of a 20x12 building. It is now completely clear of all materials, as the old sauna will be converted to a shiny new bunkhouse for the family. Next week Bob will be replacing the existing windows as well as adding a few more.
Alas, I will not be on that job; I have home duties to perform this weekend. I have always enjoyed putting on my tool belt and hammering and sawing and all sorts of other productive and manual projects. It gives me immense satisfaction to build something, even as we did this past week to tear things down. I’ve been like this my entire life; the only caveat to all of this is that I much prefer to work with someone or others who know what they are doing. I don’t have enough confidence in myself to tackle big jobs by myself.
Sometimes I think my daughter and son-in-law think I can do all sorts of things by myself. Alas, I cannot. I just don’t give myself enough credit I suppose, but back to my main theme. There is a satisfaction I get at the end of day when we’ve actually accomplished a lot. You can see it physically and concretely. I built those walls or I tore those walls down, etc. There is also very much a camaraderie that I enjoy too. Most projects require some help usually 3-5 other people; there is also, of course, the cold beers that follow a long day on the jobsite.